Attending A Cocktail Party T-Shirts

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

'When she said that she had 'Just thrown something on' she obviously very nearly missed!'

'Just stand there and don't sit on anything until we're ready to leave or you'll be covered with pet hair. I've got toothpaste on my dress.' 'My, what an elegant couple we are.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Aperitif?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."