Atomic Jokester Gifts

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Not now, Oliver."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

Cosmonaughty

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"It's the formula for a black hole."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'I was told it required a log-in...'

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'