Athletic Irony Enthusiast Gifts

Running Shoes: 'They should be back soon.'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Loser's Podium.

The Washington Arbitrators

"We're not admitting any wrong doing, but we've agreed to pay a ten Zillion dollar fine.''

"We must prepare for the threat of China laying claim to Raducanu."

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

The Breakfast of Cheaters

Throwing the syringe.

Martina Hingis

'...You have a morbid fear of the ball.'

"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."

Pirate sitting in boxing ring, trainer talking to boxer: 'Watch out for his right hook.'

'Extinct species' 'England Wimbledon Champ'

'I'm sorry, we can't declare you the winner. You have high blood pressure.'

Football League - Concussions R Us.

Best guess, nuclear war or the French football camp!

Bob refused to play ball. Not that it mattered – the game was rained out.

'I couldn't break 100, so I bought new clubs and took lessons and now I can't break 120!'

Political Hipsters

'I don't like roughing it...'

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

Fat kids in football T-shirts, Rooney and Ronaldo. Man says: 'It's good for kids to have sport role models.'

"But, dad, this will make sure I don't get saddled with college student debt."

'It never fails... The race gets into the final stretch and the two leaders go negative.'

'Eton Football (Special Report by Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'

'And in lane four, representing Battersea Dogs Home...'