Athletic Irony Lover Gifts

'I'm sorry, we can't declare you the winner. You have high blood pressure.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

"We're not admitting any wrong doing, but we've agreed to pay a ten Zillion dollar fine.''

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

Martina Hingis

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"We're adding to the 'home' and 'away' shirt ranges with our new 'alternate Tuesdays in March' option!"

Bob refused to play ball. Not that it mattered – the game was rained out.

First Shot Discus Thrower

'I couldn't break 100, so I bought new clubs and took lessons and now I can't break 120!'

Running Shoes: 'They should be back soon.'

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

'Who was the fastest runner in history?'

'There's a guy out here who wants to kill the messenger.'

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'

'It never fails... The race gets into the final stretch and the two leaders go negative.'

'On your mark...'

'Will he be right for Saturday, Doc?'

"Why do they think we've been shitting on him all these years?"

The word going around is that the business administration graduates are hiring the engineering graduates.

'Cricket Catches (By D. Crambo, Junior.)'

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...

Man stands in shotput circle, throwing sticks for dogs.

www.hopeless-assassin.com. Hits 0.

Olympic meeting

Pole Vault Birds

'That's amazing, old people deciding the fate of the Internet.'

'I only jog to be social.'

'He hates basketball! He hates basketball! He hates basketball...'