Astro-humor Lovers Gifts

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Since the military isn't known for doing things for the sake of science, why would they want to figure out how they can people to another solar system.'

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

Bad luck.

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

Benedict XVI Resigns.

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

Recent Evidence for the Existence of Dogs

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

"According to my readings the moon really is made of cheese. Judging by its consistency, I think we've landed in Brie!!"

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

'I still feel empty.'

'It's nothing to worry about - Meteors fall to earth all the time.'

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

'Welcome to heaven buddy! We got some stronger stuff inside, but this will get you into the mood.'