Astro-humor Lovers Gifts

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Since the military isn't known for doing things for the sake of science, why would they want to figure out how they can people to another solar system.'

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

Bad luck.

'Bugger!'

Recent Evidence for the Existence of Dogs

Benedict XVI Resigns.

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."

"According to my readings the moon really is made of cheese. Judging by its consistency, I think we've landed in Brie!!"

"Not tonight, dear, I have a head-glitch."

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

'It's nothing to worry about - Meteors fall to earth all the time.'

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

'I still feel empty.'

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

'Frankly, your credit score concerns me.'

'Welcome to heaven buddy! We got some stronger stuff inside, but this will get you into the mood.'