Astro Comedian Gifts

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Science fiction fans on other planets

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

Halo Frisbee.

Shoot For The Moon