Astro Humorist Gifts

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Here Was Peter

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Water is discovered on the moon....

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Mars Rover