Astro-comedy Fans Gifts

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Since the military isn't known for doing things for the sake of science, why would they want to figure out how they can people to another solar system.'

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

First space criminal investigation

A workman ponders a bolt on a track

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'They come down here to smoke.'

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'

Recent Evidence for the Existence of Dogs

Extraterrestrials Watchers Club.

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

'I'm part of you, you're part of me...'

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

Hand me the remote...

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

Heaven Security Checks.

"Two bars—how about you?"