Astro-comedy Fan Gifts

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

Flying sauces.

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Look Zorg, an antique!"

'Uh-oh, another Earthlings computer glitch!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"I Can't Dance... The Doctor Accidentally Gave Me Two Left Feet!"

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

One afternoon on mars.

"Why don't you pop back in a couple of years - we'll talk again!"

The Old Man and the Noodle.

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

A workman ponders a bolt on a track

First space criminal investigation