Humour-loving Astrophiles Gifts

"AA-ARGH!"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

Chalk Bored

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

Cola Observatory

Recent Evidence for the Existence of Dogs

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Benedict XVI Resigns.

"Did you hear about Henderson? He went out with his fly open."

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

'I still feel empty.'

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

Sid's favourite hen was so broody, she tried to hatch out a meteorite.

Nasa's going to give the moon a moon. What? It's going to capture an asteroid and put it in lunar orbit so we can practice docking with it and maybe mine it. Do you think it's too late for me to become and astronaut? I would love to be the first human being to say "can you hear me now" from an asteroid. Your deeds will be remember for centuries. I want to be the first human to moon the moon from the moon's moon.

'Frankly, your credit score concerns me.'

"What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?"

'Welcome to heaven buddy! We got some stronger stuff inside, but this will get you into the mood.'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news

"Sorry, y'all, I really wanted to make it out tonight but I'm waning..."

"Isn't it romantic? All those pieces of space-junk, assorted human garbage and spy satellites, twinkling in the night sky."

"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."

Astronomy 101. Moon. No, a "waxing" moon does not have anything to so with hair removal.

"In hindsight, I probably should have had more than concepts of a plan."

"I hate moulting season."