Astronomy Humor Seeker Gifts

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Save Our Universe

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

'Take it from me, and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

First attempt at the Big Bang

Moon's Portaloo.

"Space is not for pussies!"

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"Hey, no problem!"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

Bait & Tackle

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

"Feeling very much at home here, Houston."

Unaware of the importance of dryer sheets, the crew of the starship enterprise embarrassingly warp through space with static Klingons.

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

Cola Observatory