Astronomy Humor Seeker Pillows

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Save Our Universe

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Take it from me, and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

Stand up comedians from outer space.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

"Hey, no problem!"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

Cola Observatory

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

Bait & Tackle

"Feeling very much at home here, Houston."

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."