Space Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I've heard of space heaters, but I've never seen one before.'

'Really? -- I'd always assumed that James Carville was one of us.'

'To show progress in space, we need to introduce conjugal visits.'

"Feeling very much at home here, Houston."

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

First space criminal investigation

A workman ponders a bolt on a track

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

Chalk Bored