Space Joke Aficionado Pillows

Chalk Bored

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

First attempt at the Big Bang

Moon's Portaloo.

"Space is not for pussies!"

Black Hole Corks

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

First space criminal investigation

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

A workman ponders a bolt on a track