Aspiring Storyteller Gifts

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Do you have any advice for me? I'm writing a children's book."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Kirsten Johnson

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'