Aspiring Senator Gifts

'I still love you, Harold, but I'm moving to another state and running for the Senate.'

'It's difficult transitioning from campaigning to governing...so we're getting rid of governing.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

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"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

Upon graduation, all of the clowns would gather to find out where their assignments would be.

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

Impotent Democracy

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

Beware of the Legislation

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

"What's your position on the Strait of Hormuz?"