Future Senator Gifts

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

The following is a paid political announcement.

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'