Future Senator Pillows

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

The following is a paid political announcement.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."