Future Politician Pillows

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'

Votes for 16-year-olds?

'Yes, dad, I mis-spoke my math grade, covered-up my reprimand from the dean, and cheated on an English quiz, but I'm getting an A in political science.'

'I'm sorry to disappoint you Rodney. Being elected class president does not mean you get your own corporate jet.'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'I'd like to run for class president but I'm afraid of the background check. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre school.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Recess is over now, Edward. If you want a longer recess you'll have to get elected to Congress.'

With no clear winner, the 7th grade Class President debate came down to a tie breaker.

I'm running for student council president, so could you keep quiet about the time that I kissed you last year?

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

'My teacher says that in America, everybody can become President of the United States.'

'Okay, son -- I'll tell you one more campaign promise, and then off you go to sleep.'

'He promised me everything. He must have presidential ambitions.'

Young Conservatives Application Form - 'Oh no! He's joining a drug gang.'

"Okay to answer Republican critics: we're involved in Libya to steal their oil, enrich our ultra-wealthy domestic corporate cronies, bust American unions, roll back women's rights, discriminate against gays and destroy the working class."

"If you're planning to run for public office, 'a man of conviction' sounds better than 'prison parolee'."

"Oh, I'm not worried about doing the job, if elected. I'm more concerned about facing the onslaught of lobbyists."

"I hate it when these campaigns go negative."

"He's holding a press conference about his current report card. Should we be concerned?"

"Boy, another load of homework tonight. We need a stronger lobby in congress."

'Really, Darling, if Daddy didn't already have a running mate, I'm sure he'd consider you.'

Cut the small talk-I'm almost seven.

'I just hope this doesn't jeopardize my political career.'

'You should concentrate on your schoolwork for now -- you'll have plenty of time to pick a running mate later.'

"He's my running mate."

"My support is lukewarm, let's turn up the heat. Take the hot button issues off the back burner!"

"I'm running for mayor, senator and school board!"

"Dad's just giving Timmy some guidance as to how the party's manifesto commitments may result in a fiscal drag on GDP growth targets..."

Boy in the witness box swearing an oath

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

I rule by fear.