Aspiring Lawmaker Gifts

"He wants to grow up and become a congressman? Where did we go wrong?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

'I still love you, Harold, but I'm moving to another state and running for the Senate.'

"I'm thinking of getting into office politics."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

Al Baldasaro

'The greenest government ever?'

"I'll just mow the lawn then I'll put myself forward to lead the Conservatives."

"Honk If You're Running For Governor!

"Eat your borscht. Don't you want to be President of the Soviet Union when you grow up?"

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

'I'll be frank with you -- to adequately represent you in Congress, I have to be a crook.'

"Dad's just giving Timmy some guidance as to how the party's manifesto commitments may result in a fiscal drag on GDP growth targets..."