Aspiring Carpenter Gifts

'Look at the stool I made... next I'm going to build a violin!'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Moving in

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Education and Apprenticeships

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

Thor's Other Tools

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

"Bob's a tool belt."

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

'Just call me Delia...'

"Oh Dad, you're the best! My own aquarium!"

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

'Just how much time do you intend spending in this new tool shed of yours?'

"Jeffrey makes all our furniture himself."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."