Creative Carpenter Gifts

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

'George is real handy. He made this table out of an old tractor tire.'

"These beavers are getting creative. . !"

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Young Frankenstein"

Jack of all trades

I quilt therefore I am

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

D.I.Y

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Building Blocks.

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Guide to Carpentry Fish

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Whittler's Mother.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

The Sculptor

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Punkins