Carpentry Admirer Gifts

'The living room shelves are coming along nicely dear.'

Jack of all trades

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

Cat statues on entrance gate

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

I love the Shard

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Greenwich in the Season'

The High Line at Giza

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

D.I.Y

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Guide to Carpentry Fish

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

Greece

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Your Home Remodel Team

"Do you smell something?"

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Whittler's Mother.