Carpentry Admirer Gifts

'The living room shelves are coming along nicely dear.'

Jack of all trades

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Cat statues on entrance gate

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

I love the Shard

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

The High Line at Giza

'Greenwich in the Season'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

D.I.Y

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

Guide to Carpentry Fish

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Your Home Remodel Team

"Do you smell something?"

Whittler's Mother.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'