Asparagus Aficionados Gifts

"Somebody had as-par-a-gus!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Cow yin yang spots.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Cow Pollen

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

The One That Newton Missed

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Dog begging for a sausage

'Mr. Hillshire seems to have taken a turn for the 'wurst'.'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

Tomato, zucchini or grapefruit? Balloons. Vegan Clowns.

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

Bangers and Mash

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

Wieners Sausages.

'Do not look within. Trust me, you don't want to know what's in there.'

"Did you hear? The new apples are out today!"

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

A couple having breakfast