Asparagus Aficionado Gifts

Protesting Asparagus

'How many times have I said never to leave any dangerous things in reach of the baby... Things like knifes or forks... Or Asparagus sticks!'

"I thought you didn't have any toothpicks?"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Country Bumpkin.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"They’re real."

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Okay, dig that one up!

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Can he come out and play?'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Cow and Milk

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

'Shuck me.'

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

Police Cow!

The worm that churned!

"Can you keep a secret?"

I've located your problem, luv!

Runner Bean...

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

A newspaper stand in a rural area.