Asparagus Fan Gifts

Asparagus Hecklers

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Before/After

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Cow Pollen

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

"Why would I sign up for a marathon? Well, Coubertin said it best: "the most important thing is not to win, but to take part"..."

'I see you've been eating lots of green leafy vegetables like I told you to.'

A cowshed full of dairy cows reading books.

'Easiest job I've ever had: Farmer Jones is paying me $5 an hour to be a scarecrow...'

Pop up hell

Adaptability.

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

A Chinese dragon comes for US farm products.

Chicken Soup

Chicken Costume

COWS: Cows weekly shop

"Banana! Banana! My energy break!"

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

'It's her birthday.'

'Polly wants a cracker and you might as well throw in a bowl of chili while you're at it.'

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

'I've known you a long time and it's time I told you the truth, I'm not really a person, I'm just a suit full of chickens..'