Asparagus Fan T-Shirts

Asparagus Hecklers

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Before/After

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

Cow Pollen

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

Hectare?

I put little hats on them to attract investors. Small-cap stock!

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Easiest job I've ever had: Farmer Jones is paying me $5 an hour to be a scarecrow...'

A cowshed full of dairy cows reading books.

"Why would I sign up for a marathon? Well, Coubertin said it best: "the most important thing is not to win, but to take part"..."

'I see you've been eating lots of green leafy vegetables like I told you to.'

Pop up hell

Adaptability.

'It's her birthday.'

COWS: Cows weekly shop

'I've known you a long time and it's time I told you the truth, I'm not really a person, I'm just a suit full of chickens..'

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

Chicken Costume

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

"It is progress, but I miss the thrill of the hunt!"

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

A Chinese dragon comes for US farm products.

"Banana! Banana! My energy break!"