Asceticism Gifts

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Books / Coffee table books

Ill next Thursday

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"The damsel-in-distress thing is just one of several income streams that I pursue."

Ave Atque Vale- Illustrates Beardsley's Translation of Carmen CI of Catullus

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

"Vegas"

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

Professor Stephen Hawking

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

The Nobility Scooter

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

'I need you to blow into this breathalyzer, right after this important commercial message.'

"All I have is tofu."

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

Countess

"Why do all butlers say m' lud at the end of every sentence!"

"And on the floor is the present duchess...."

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

A poet with wings

'You're suppposed to put me on a pedestal!'

No caption (A monk wears a cross necklace that has attached earbuds).

"Where's the damn bottle-opener?" "It's his day off, sir."