Ascetic Foodie Gifts

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Ice Cream Dreams.

Lockdown casserole

Pasta

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Do you want toast with that?'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

'It's an acquired taste!'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

"Vegas"

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

Dessert Storm Veteran

The great zucchinis

'I eat them myself, and I can assure you that beetles are even better than ants.'

'All you can eat, burgers.'

U.S. Bread Basket.

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

Explorer's Club: 'Rule one - when you eat a hamburger, don't ask what's in it!'

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

"I have no trouble losing weight...it's just that I'm better at finding it."