Ascetic Foodie Gifts

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Ice Cream Dreams.

Pasta

Lockdown casserole

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'Do you want toast with that?'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'It's an acquired taste!'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"Vegas"

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

The great zucchinis

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'I eat them myself, and I can assure you that beetles are even better than ants.'

U.S. Bread Basket.

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

When your trainer said stretching is a key component of your new fitness program, she wasn't talking about your stomach!

No caption (A monk wears a cross necklace that has attached earbuds).

Explorer's Club: 'Rule one - when you eat a hamburger, don't ask what's in it!'

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

"I have no trouble losing weight...it's just that I'm better at finding it."