Artifice Appreciator Gifts

Bank Front

Madonna of the Pukes.

Trump! The Musical

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Night of the Zombonies.

Misunderstood artist

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

Scarpia's Palace

Juggler and Illusionist

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Lot for people who don't know how to park.