Antiquity Appreciator Gifts

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Souvenirs.

Teddy Roosevelt

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Acme Slide Rules: 'We'll be here and ready, when the current electronic gadgetry fad fades!'

Demon family vacations - Kid covering other's horns.

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Antiques

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

Baby car seat for a Native American.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Mangle

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. X. - A delicate attention.

Archeology Dept. Storage. Ernie, this box should be labeled "unidentified pottery fragments," not "pots unknown."

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

Over the Hill Birthday Cards

'BBC Antics Roadshow'.

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

Paul before Felix.

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

The days before television

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

The Wellington Statue.