Art School Humorist Gifts

Picasso's learning years.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"The Eggsorcist"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

Gustav Holst

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"