Art Of Misunderstanding Gifts

"Well I say we go on without him..."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"The sign said 'Home-Style Cooking.'"