Master Of Misunderstandings Gifts

'You misunderstood. Our ad says that we can help you get out of debt.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'

"Well I say we go on without him..."

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'