Arrival Of A New Sibling Pillows

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Child driving a toy car

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Windmill

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

Untidy bedroom

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Reflected Glory

Boy slides down handrail.

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

Baby restaurant

"Your priorities change once you get a new toy."

Freak Family.

Time for bed

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"So, the inevitable sequel."