New Sibling Arrival Pillows

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"That's my new baby brother. He's a floor model."

Untidy bedroom

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Child driving a toy car

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

Stork and baby discover scarecrows

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

Windmill

Dummies for Dummies.

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Boy slides down handrail.

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'Hey, I remember delivering you to your parents: We're going full circle here!'

"Any possibility of a puppy?"

Baby restaurant

"Your priorities change once you get a new toy."

"I think this end is loaded."