Arrival Of New Sibling Pillows

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Child driving a toy car

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"Technology is for babies!"

Windmill

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Reflected Glory

Untidy bedroom

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Boy slides down handrail.

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Freak Family.

"Your priorities change once you get a new toy."