Having A New Sibling Pillows

'I'm gonna tell Mom you ate a bad word!'

If raising a kid is so expensive, why did you have Teddy? He's an obnoxious pip-squeak who sucks up money you could be spending on me. If you were an only child, you'd spend all your complaints on me. That's so selfish! Teddy's worth every penny!

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

At the Museum

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Child driving a toy car

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Changes at home

"Better luck next time, kid."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

Toys

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

The Charge of the Kids