New Sibling Arrival Mugs

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"That's my new baby brother. He's a floor model."

Untidy bedroom

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Child driving a toy car

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Stork and baby discover scarecrows

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

Dummies for Dummies.

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Technology is for babies!"

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Windmill

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

Boy slides down handrail.

"Your priorities change once you get a new toy."

"Any possibility of a puppy?"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'