Arranged Marriage Gifts

'Look, either tell me your name or the marriage is off.'

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

'I hate you, and this stupid arranged marriage.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Try Mediation

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.