Unconventional Marriage Gifts

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"He may be an unusual choice for a husband but I've found him to be really quite handy."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

'So John, can I have the hand of your daughter in marriage for a few years?'

"Click here if you accept his terms and conditions."

"Do you offer a ceremony less drastic than marriage?"

"Been lookin' for love in all the wrong carnivals."

'We'll see you again in three months time, then, sir.'

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

"Don’t think of it as a retirement community, think of it as a cave."

Cemetery Plot Air BNB Available

"Traditionally, you cut the bottom layer at the wedding reception, the middle layer at your first child's Christening, and the top layer to celebrate your divorce settlement."

Wedding nose ring

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

"Great news, guys! I finally got us that nudist colony account!!"

'I now pronounce you man and wife. You may torture the bride.'

"We have an arrangement."

"Call me old fashioned, but I believe....bickering, nagging, spousal indifference and shattered illusions...should be between a man and a woman!"

"Have I got a girl for you!"

'Wow! Is it Valentine's Day already?'

'Muriel consideres marriage sacred, and says that sex would only profane it.'

"You'll do."