Unconventional Bride Gifts

Long beard as wedding veil.

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Romance of Radio Astronomy

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

Bride getting ready for her wedding.

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"And so, by the ventriloquism powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

A bride and groom surrounded by cats

The Ring Bearer

'Let's have a secret wedding, all my friends think I have better taste.'

A bride and groom riding a giant fish

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

'I suppose I'll get married some day - I just don't want to be there when it happens.'

Confetti Recycling.

Wedding nose ring

"That's the thing about online dating - it's addictive."

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife. You may torture the bride.'

"He may be an unusual choice for a husband but I've found him to be really quite handy."

"Have I got a girl for you!"

"Where shall I put him, mum?"

Dan prepares to throw rice on the happy couple.

'Wow! Is it Valentine's Day already?'