Wedding Unconventionalist Gifts

'Instead of wedding presents Ron and I are asking people to give us cigarettes.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

The Hammer

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

"And so, by the ventriloquism powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

A bride and groom surrounded by cats

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

The Ring Bearer

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

A bride and groom riding a giant fish

'Let's have a secret wedding, all my friends think I have better taste.'

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

Confetti Recycling.

The Artists Fall-Back Career 'It's an easy gig to get once you stop waxing.'

Fish who dropped out of the school

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife. You may torture the bride.'

"He may be an unusual choice for a husband but I've found him to be really quite handy."

'Ladies and Gentlemen, you may now text Annabell and Huey together.'

Caution: Bridle Path

'We were married on the 9th on the 18th.'

"Where shall I put him, mum?"

Long beard as wedding veil.

Dan prepares to throw rice on the happy couple.

"Do you have the nose ring, dude?"