Modern Bride Gifts

"Can you hurry up? My Uber will be here in 3 minutes."

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

"That's the thing about online dating - it's addictive."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

The Modern Novel.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"You may now kiss the bride."

i-teddy

Fur Baby

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

The Eternal Question

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."