Modern Bride Pillows

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

"That's the thing about online dating - it's addictive."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

i-teddy

Fur Baby

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

The Eternal Question

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

ALMOST SLEEPING BEAUTY