Arranged Marriage Mugs

'Look, either tell me your name or the marriage is off.'

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

'I hate you, and this stupid arranged marriage.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Try Mediation

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"I heard they mate for life."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'