Army Humor Fan Gifts

'I've got so many people telling me what to do, I might as well be in the army.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Ad Valorem

Your Country Needs MOO!

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

Army barber says: 'Don't say 'Surprise me', soldier. I've never managed that yet.'

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

The changing of the guard.

Really big bang

"Is something funny, soldier?"

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

'General practitoner'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'