Army Humor Fan Gifts

'I've got so many people telling me what to do, I might as well be in the army.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Ad Valorem

Your Country Needs MOO!

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

'General practitoner'

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

Really big bang

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

Army barber says: 'Don't say 'Surprise me', soldier. I've never managed that yet.'

The changing of the guard.

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

"Duty calling on line two, sir."