Armchair Attorney Gifts

'This courtroom drama has made me want to sue, sue, sue.'

'I picked it all up from daytime TV.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

They're Not Just That Into It

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Turkish Democracy

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'I think they're up to something.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Now there's a weapon of mass destruction."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Carrot VS Stick

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Well, he's always been a hero to me.'

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

EU

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

"We're making the World a safer place for nuclear explosions."

"Ahh, shade."

"Uh...I wonder if this is still a good idea."

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'