Armchair Academic Gifts

The mind-body problem

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Turkish Democracy

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The intellectual.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I should've never studied canon law."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

The Three Kinds of People

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"I don't believe in egrets."

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."