Armchair Educator Gifts

Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in educational programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never even opened.

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hate Platforms

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Lynching on social media

Ethics exam cheater.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Fear/Knowledge

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

I will study my speling words...

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'